Unbroken Fellowship
haha. Praise Jesus, it's weekend - rest time! haha.Been wanting to blog about this but was kinda tired the past few nights but I've decided tonight that I wanna blog it anyway. Don't wanna hold it any longer - knowing it has been a blessing to my woolies when I shared with them, wanna share it here as well so that more would be blessed with the Word of encouragement from Daddy. :)
Okay, some background of what I'm gonna share... :)
This happened in like March this year if I'm not wrong.
Not sure what happened but during that period of time, I was kinda sad and depressed. And during that time, when my spiritual dad talk to me, I would just feel like crying. So he asked me what happened, etc... Not sure at first but as I asked Daddy, I started to realise there's one area of my life that I did not want to open up to DaddyGod.
It was something that I was really disappointed in and being disappointed, I did not talk to DaddyGod about it because a part of me blamed Him for me being disappointed. So in February when He wanted to talk to me about that topic, I just told Him, "Lord, You know very well I don't want to talk about it. So yeap. I wouldn't talk to You about it.". And I moved on to do other things. haha. Sounds funny now. But yeap. :)
Then some time later were the events of my spiritual dad talking to me, etc.
So as he probed further, he could sense the defense so he just said that if I don't wanna talk about it to him then talk to God. But it was exactly then that I felt that I should just tell him because if I had wanted to talk to Papa God about it, the problem or feeling of disappointment wouldn't be there already.
So yeap, there I was typing an angry email to him. haha. So yeap, and there were shedding of light and though there were seeming correction, there was so much grace because the spirit knows that that was exactly it. We don't need love that is soft. We, children of God, need tough Love. Love that would Love us as we are and should we fall, there is no condemnation because Love is God Himself. :D
So yeap. And of course it was so good after I shared that, having buried it for so long, at last Daddy's light was shed in that area. :D
But then comes the next point... haha.
The next day when I was spending time with Daddy God, there was just this feeling of being far from God. Notice I used the word feeling? That means it's not true. haha.
Then at one point I just told Daddy, "I know You are still here with me leh. But it just feels different lay. It seems like our relationship isn't as cool as before. You know right, the very reason why I didn't wanna bring up that topic (that which I thought He had disappointed me) is because I feel it would hurt our relationship." haha. Like as if what I did would matter when our relationship was based on the blood of Jesus.
Then what happened next was really God... Not sure why but I started reading Romans 6 in the Amplified version. And the verses that caught me are:-
Romans 6:10-11 (AMP)
10For by the death He died, He died to sin [ending His relation to it] once for all; and the life that He lives, He is living to God [in unbroken fellowship with Him].
11Even so consider yourselves also dead to sin and your relation to it broken, but alive to God [living in unbroken fellowship with Him] in Christ Jesus.
:) It doesn't really matter what I did or going to do because as Christ had died to the falling short of the mark, so have I! And today I am alive to God! hehe.
What does it mean to be alive to God? Holy living? Perfect lifestyle? NO! But alive in this unbroken fellowship with Him! Today it is the NEW and LIVING way when we come to God. It is NEW; it doesn't matter what happenED. When you come to God, it's as fresh and as good as NEW. And the more you come, the more you LIVE.
So don't worry leh. In the midst of you having that lustful or crude thought, you are still in communion with Jesus, with Daddy. So talk to Him! haha. Your FELLOWSHIP with Him is UNBROKEN. It is UNBROKEN leh. Have you ever seen anything so perfect???? It is Unbroken just because you are in the Ark (Christ). It doesn't matter what you go into the Ark with - clean (your strength) or unclean (your weakness) animals, as long as you go into the Ark, you are saved and safe.
I love the illustration/ explanation of the difference between a fellowship and a relationship.
Relationship - Connection by blood or marriage; kinship e.g. Dad and daughter.
If me, I would simply say it as status - on paper.
Fellowship - Communion: interchange or sharing of thoughts or emotions; intimate communication (got the meaning of communion from http://www.dictionary.com/) :D
You can have a status relationship with Daddy God but do you fellowship, share with Him your thoughts and emotions? I love the second part of the definition - intimate communication. INTIMATE. haha. How close would you allow the LORD to get to you? :D
It's very amazing because we were watching the Nooma DVDs at Jamie's place just now, and one of which is Breathe. :) I love the part that says that the Hebrew name of the LORD - YHVH are all letters whereby you breathe. What I caught was that, with every breath that I take, I am calling upon the LORD.
It's not too much to ask God to make you so conscious of Him with every breath that you take. I call myself blessed in Jesus' name. Amen. :D
haha. I pray that the consciousness of yours and mine would be filled with the realness of the LORD. In Jesus' name, amen. :)
Thank You LORD that there's no need to compare because where I am, what's needed, You have already given, provided and exceeded. I give glory (a good opinion) to You. :)
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